Life is strange

Jamie and I were chatting today, and he said he still finds it so strange how things have changed so much, so quickly. He still remembers life before his Dad got sick, and how hard it was just after Max died; yet, here we are, in a completely new life, almost as if by magic. It's not just life that is strange, but the perception of time. Sometimes, for both Jamie and me, it seems like just yesterday that we were a family of four, with no idea of how easily everything can be turned upside down. Then we look at where we are now, and are amazed - we have a new house, a new baby, more people and dogs and relatives... We had no idea we'd end up here. Luckily, this seems to be a good place to be. Still, Jamie and I agree, we had to give up an awful lot to get to this place, and we can't help but wonder how life would be now if nothing had changed in the first place. For me, today in particular has been spent thinking about that... on June 28, 1986, Max and I were married. We knew we would be doing something really special for our 20th anniversary - but, here I am, one remembering for two. I hope where ever he is, he is remembering, too.

Stealing a minute

I am supposed to be over at Brookfield Road with Todd and Eric, but I sent them on ahead with the promise that I would go over when Caitlyn finishes her lunch. I lied!! I have been trying to get some computer time in, so since she's having her after-lunch snooze, I will take advantage, and steal a minute for myself :o) Oh, I have put some of the house renovation shots into my Yahoo photo album - just click on the folder called Renovations.
With any luck, the house will be ready within a week or so... It has been taking forever, and we are starting to feel the crunch - gotta get the thing sold!

Caitlyn has been a little fussier than usual the last couple days - she has a little Thrush in her mouth, so now she gets some yucky, really, really yellow liquid to take orally and then spit up onto everything in sight. Why, oh why, do they have to add such brilliant colours to baby medicines?! Obviously, none of the medicine makers have to clean up after spitty babies! Anywhy, other than that, she is doing fine, staying awake a little longer now after feeding, and looking around alot. The doctor says she is really alert for her "corrected" age (how old she would be now if she had been born at the proper time, which is about 3 weeks). She's just a smart little cookie :o)

Anyway, I better get ready to go help Todd and Eric - although I really don't feel like doing any work today. It is nice and sunny out, instead of wet and muggy, for the first time in days. I want to lay around in the sun, and smell the fresh cut grass of the neighbors' lawns (note: not our lawn, which cannot be called freshly cut by any stretch of the imagination!). Ah well, I've put it off long enough - time to go. Until later, mes amis :o)

Back from Burin and Busy as Ever

Lots going on here lately - Todd seems to think that nice weather means I should get out of bed and do "stuff"! We took a trip to the Burin Peninsula last weekend to visit Todd's parents for Father's Day; it was a decent trip, sunny and warm. The drive is only about three and a half hours, and we stopped halfway for a snack. Caitlyn seems to be a good traveller so far - hope so, 'cause we are supposed to go to Ontario in August for a wedding! It seems from this picture that she doesn't like travelling, but once the car gets moving, she calms right down...

Sorry that her eyes are closed in this shot - I don't think we've caught her with them open yet! Anyway, I will share a photo of the fabulous fish I caught while in Burin... boy, we had some good eating that night!

Well, gotta get back to work... Time to stuff Caitlyn back into her carrier and drag her and the boys over to the old house. I'll have some photos of the work in progress later on. See ya later!

Piccy's

To satisfy her clamouring, adoring audience, Caitlyn has graciously agreed to pose for a few candid photos...


Note the towel under her little head. That is a sad attempt to protect our bed from her unceasing spit up. She has just fed here, and is very much like a full water balloon - one false move, and she'll gush like Ol' Faithful. Another note: she is out like a light, and this was taken at 8:30 am. Why can't she be like this at 11:30 pm?! I'll have to take a picture of her during her late evening/night fussy-fit, so you can all see how one can go from beauty to the beast :o)

Let's take a closer look, shall we? You might be able to see a little spit up on her arm...















I snuck a shot of Todd relaxing (or is it collapsing) after trying to sooth a fussy Caitlyn last night. He doesn't look very comfortable to me, but each to his own, I guess :o)

Adventures with Baby

Warning: This blog contains graphic text describing bodily emissions, and may not be suitable for some audiences. Reader discretion is advised.

That having been said... Holy cow, can Caitlyn ever spit up! She's managed to hit just about every surface in the house, both horizontal and vertical. She sits in your lap looking all cute and innocent, but it's a trick, to lure you in closer for a kiss. Once you're in range, look out! She can shoot three streams at once by using her mouth and both nostrils. She can projectile spit-up a shockingly long distance. She can spit up completely silently, carefully waiting for the moment when you look away - as soon as your eyes leave her face, a strange, warm wetness flows all over your hands/arms/shoulder, etc. She can spit up with amazing accuracy, usually aiming for either the inside of her jammies, or the inside of your jammies - whichever will be the most disgusting and difficult to clean at that particular instance. She can aerosolize her spit up, so that your glasses are coated with a fine spray. She can spit up while simultaneously feeding. It's crazy, I tell you!

Other than that, she's awfully cute :o)

Speaking of houses...

So, just before going to bed, I check out the FamBlogs (our Family Blogs, for short). TravelingMan is back from Alberta with photos of the old homestead, and NanNan comments on how houses were once homes. I think to myself: I know that my house on Brookfield Road was a home for my family; as we are fixing it up for sale, I realize just how hard it will be to let it go. Of course, it was the first house I ever actually owned, so that probably makes it harder... Now we are learning how to turn this new house into a home, with a few extra people and animals thrown in to make it a real challenge. We have been in this house for almost four months now, and it is only recently that I am able to call it home - ie. "Let's drop in to Dairy Queen before we go home." I think it has been easier for Todd and Travis, because they didn't have the same association with their house as I and my boys did/do with ours. For us, the house on Brookfield Road feels like the only physical connection we have with Max - his hand was in every room of that house. Eric and Jamie both appreciated and were proud that their Dad had built their bedrooms specifically for them. As for myself, I feel reluctant to leave the place where I last saw Max alive, the place he so wanted to be when he drew his last breath. So, now I have to let go of the house, and learn to trust that Max is with me where ever I go. He did tell me that it's just a house - I should learn to listen to him!
Anyway, look what happens when I read an innocent comment! My crazy head is gonna get me into trouble one of these days :o) I better get on with my housework before I find something else to set me off...

It's Not Just Me

I found a little column in our weekly free paper, The Express that helped reassure me that I am not a crazy lady. Before Max died, I tended to think that people who claimed to receive "signs" from the dead were just a little wacko, you know, a biscuit or two short of a dozen. Since then, though, I have had experiences of my own that made me wonder. It was kind of nice to read this column and know that I am not entirely insane (or at least, not for this reason *wink*). Anyway, I will share it with you here:

Butterfly Kisses
After a lot of soul searching, I started asking "why" things were the way they were. At one point, I remember reading about life after death. In one book, it said if you want to connect with a passed loved one, it’s as simple as asking them to send you a sign. My mother had died when I was a child and I was desperate for some guidance. Half believing it would happen and half thinking I was losing my mind, I tried it. I asked Mom to send me a sign. I asked for a butterfly. No sooner did I think it when a large, loppy Monarch butterfly fluttered past me. Refusing to believe it was meant for me, I kept pushing my luck and upping my request until I finally asked for the impossible. I wanted a purple butterfly. If I didn’t get it, then without a doubt, it would confirm that no one ‘up there’ was listening. I didn’t get one. I got a cloud of them. Ever since, I get purple butterflies every time I need reassurance. It’s just one of those things in my life that has remained constant. To me, that’s one of my life’s little miracles.

Kim Kielley
Have a miracle to share with Kim Kielley?
Contact her at kkielley@theexpress.ca

So much to do...

I am supposed to be busy busy busy, but I am doing the best that I can to avoid my "chores"! I should be calling around looking for estimates on sanding and refinishing hardwood floors, then calling Toyota to get tires rotated, parts put back on (which I managed to knock off over the winter), and brakes looked at. I have laundry waiting to be washed, laundry waiting to be folded, and laundry waiting to be put away. I have a dishwasher waiting to be emptied, and a pile of dirty dishes waiting to go into the (currently full) dishwasher. I have a puddle of dog pee at the top of the stairs drying as I type. I haven't gotten dressed yet, and Caitlyn needs a bath. I have to unload my car so that I can drive over to the house on Brookfield Road and load it up again. I have a few plants dying in their containers waiting for me to plant them in the ground. All of this, and what am I doing? Why, I am sipping a nice cold Pepsi, flicking through other people's blogs, fooling around with my own :o) I really do have my priorities... just don't tell Todd! As Eric likes to say, "I'll procrastinate tomorrow..."

New Newest Driver and News

Well, now we are really in for it... Eric also has passed the written test, and has his beginners' permit to drive. I am worried this will turn into a big competition between the boys... you know, who can do what first, best, etc. Todd and I want to get them both set up in driver's ed, to spare ourselves the stress of having to teach them ourselves. Travis at least has had some experience starting a vehicle and shifting a standard, but poor Eric is a total newbie. I can see it now - Eric learning to get out of our driveway in my Matrix. I think it could look a little like this:

See? There's Eric, in the driver's seat, while my Matrix burns...

Anyway, I took Caitlyn to the breastfeeding clinic today - she has made it to the 7lb mark!! She is growing like crazy, which is nice to see. Right now, though, she has all these yucky little pimples all over her face. The nurse at the clinic says I have to leave them alone... I am terrible for picking at my children, and I don't know if I will be able to leave the poor baby alone! I will do my best, though.

I guess I might have exaggerated in the title of this little blog - there really isn't any more news. Each day blurs into the next, with no real discernable difference. But, like they say, no news is good news :o)